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The decision as to when to have a second child is one of the toughest decisions parents must make. It will forever affect your children. They’ll either be close in age or not so close in age, and it’s all up to you. There are many factors that will come into play, such as how you want the dynamics of your family to play out, what types of lifestyles you and your partner are looking to maintain, and simply what’s best for your family. You should consider all the factors carefully before making the decision and sit down with your significant other to make an informed and balanced choice. It’s an important one and you certainly want to get it right.
There are several good points to having children who are close in age. If your existing child is young--say, under three years old--she won’t really ever know what it’s like to live alone and be an only child. Therefore, she won’t know anything different than having a sibling. Whereas if you have children spread apart in age, the older child may realize that life was better when she was an only child and may show resentment toward her brother or sister. Also if you are taking time off from work in order to raise children, you’ll be able to get back to work sooner if you have more children closer together. The other advantage is that when your children grow up, they’ll likely have a more closely knit relationship than if they’re spread apart in age.
If you have children close together, however, there are several downsides. If you have children too close together, you may find yourself both pregnant and nursing children at the same time. This is not a good mix as it can cause complications to both. And you’re often not able to focus as intently on both critical times in the formation of your children. The other problem is that you may have morning sickness at the same time when your existing child needs you to spend a lot of time with her. The facts are that you want to be as healthy as possible when your toddlers need you. When they want to be around you, you not only want to cherish those moments, but you also want to help in their mental and physical growth. The other and possibly more significant downside to having two babies around the house at once is--yes, you guessed it--double the diapers, double the feeding, and double the fun. Can you handle it all?
When deciding how soon after your first child to have your second child, it’s ultimately up to you. You need to decide what’s right for your family. You should sit down with your significant other and have a discussion about this before jumping right in. You can’t take back your decision! Talk about the pluses and minuses of your decision and make sure it’s the right one for you. Then feel free to jump right in—and Congratulations!
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